THE LIQUOR BOYS

 Whatever you do,do not get a pet before you settle down with your own family.

Mtu anakuita kwake unaanza kuuliza kama unaweza kuja na paka anachoka na wewe.

So this one time ,the weekend is still young.My guy Kinyua,who should have been named Kunywa because he drinks anything in this town,from fine girls to beers and vodkas.Fast foward,Kinyua calls and arranges for a few bottles at our favourite 'locals' in the hood.I quickly figure out where I'll leave my cat but it's too late .Kama mbaya ipakwe rangi.It can survive with Omena.After all,this is a house of soldiers.We live by the gun and die by its bullets.

Kinyua and I find a spot next to the Deejay's box.Opposite is this fine shawty probably in her early twenties enjoying life with a heavily built fella.They are taking Keg or famously known as Jug Daniels.You can as well tell she doesn't like it.She must be here because he has veins in his arms.Anyway,who cares?Only Kinyua.My guy seems to be into her.

Kinyua orders Glenfiddich 18to impress his new catch.On a normal occasion,we could have taken tusker like the cabrons we are.Dealing with simps is hard but hey,what are brothers for?

At one point,I saw him lift his hand to sermon the waitress.I assumed he was calling for Nyama Choma.Its end month,he must be balling, a voice in my head keeps telling me.He whispers something to her and she leaves for the counter.She emerges with another bottle of Glenfiddich and two whiskey glasses,takes them to the opposite table and places them on the lady's side.Outrightly,the heavily built guy becomes uneasy.

The guy on the opposite table calls the waitress and starts asking questions.She gives a long stare towards our direction before pointing to our table.I mean,how can she disrespect us like that? People can't even appreciate a small gesture of a Glen when they are drinking Keg?

Whiskey can loosen your kidney.At this time,I rise slowly and head to the washrooms.I leave Kinyua with a glass in the air, probably exchanging cheers with his new catch.When I came back,It is our guy who was being lifted up in the air by the heavily built man.

I feel pressed again and dash to the washrooms for the second time.You can't blame me.My bladder was doing justice to the seven glasses of Whiskey."Shida ya pombe ni kukojoa ovyo ovyo." I curse as I head to the urinals.

When I came back,the heavily built man was being bundled out by three bouncers.Still,he was fighting to break free and inflict more pain on Kinyua's head.The lady was trying to calm him down while telling him not to do anything stupid.Eventually,she managed to convince him and they walked out of the pub.

I settle on our table and pour more drink on my glass.I turn to Kinyua boldly and ask"Bro Kwani that coward had to wait till I feel pressed to start war?You know I got your back?" and other shenanigans.

Trust me when I say that was the last time I saw Kinyua drunk.It was the end of my pal and Alcohol.

Anyway,lemme attend to my poor cat.She must have missed me.Send funds for a proper cat meal.

@AnothetKenyan